Packrat Central and Comparisons of Me

A few months ago, I clean out our pantry closet. I took things that I knew were old and unused out and left them out. After they sat on the kicthen counter for 2 days because Mom never decided what she needed or not, Dad put everthing back. So... I'm not cleaning out the pantry anymore.

A few weeks ago, I cleaned up our dining table and straighted up the kitchen. Within a matter of days, the table got covered with magazines and mail and so did the kitchen counter. So...I'm not straightening up the dining table and the kitchen anymore.

When our power was out, all our refrigerated foods went bad, and for a matter of days it stayed clear, but organized and filled with enough food to satisfy everyones hunger. After a few more weeks, the fridge got crowded and I found, yet again, moldy cheese.

The only thing that I myself have managed to keep clean is my bedroom. I put away toys and clothes as much as I can. I always tidy up my computer desk and I keep my closet clean to the best of my abilities. My Mom won't get rid of stuff. There are things in the pantry that have never been opened and won't ever spoil. It makes me sick. Some of my packratism is from Mommy, but not as severe.

I also wanted to mention( and this is to all teenage older siblings) that I don't appreciate my Mother comparing me to my little sister. We are two different @*#&$%^ people. Some of the things that she does I DID NOT DO! I hate that. You want to tell me to be nice and super sweet to her, fine. I'll be sweet, I'll let her get away with anything, unless it puts her life in danger.

So my readers, please hear me out and throw me a bone. Anyone who has had a sibling come into their lives during there teen years and they are annoying as ^$#*, and while you lose your mind your parents justify their actions froms comparing them to your younger year actions, excuses my french but, OH HELL NO! THAT IS NOT RIGHT DAMMIT! DON'T YOU EVER COMPARE THAT BRAT TO ME!

Thanks for reading.
Sayonara.

:(

Bossy, but Lovable

My Mom one day jumped into my behind about my frustration towards my sister. I don't appreciate her tricks. When she's messing with something she isn't supposed to be messing with, she cries to Mommy and Daddy up front, and while everyone is away, she runs back to play with it. Whenever she wakes up at night, she asks for her juice cup and says, hypothetically "Let's go to Mommys' room since we are all ready out in the hallway,". Mom told me to put a few things in my closet and take my bottoms and books off the shelf. I was &$#@$) beyond belief. We then sorted it out, and everything was good( although I still didn't like her justifications of her bossiness by comparing my actions to my sister's). The bible study wasn't so bad, I stayed quiet( except when it was my turn to read). I feel ready for a lot. Things are going better for us and looking up. Hey one question for animators( besides Daddy), could you please tell me the basics to flash animation and if it can be done by a person with BFA in Media Arts.
Thanks.
Sayonara. :)

Likes and Dislikes; Wants and Don't Wants

My mom wants me to do bible studies. I don't really want to though. I mean I respect God and I love Him and look to Him for help and comfort, but it's just not something I'm into. I can read the bible and go to church but... I don't know... I just don't really want to do it. I can't really explain it, but it's a feeling of something that doesn't interest me I guess. I feel bad for not being interested, but I just...mmm. Anyway, my computer was a little slow lately, so my Dad replaced my hard drive and now I have more space. We're going to play Unreal Tournament 2004 against each other( that's right boys, I like video games, what of it?). I want to do alot today. I have my motive back. I'm ready for action once highschool starts, I want to go to parks and to the bookstore too. Well, I feel better now that I got that bible study thing off my chest. Like I said, it's just not something I want to do, but I feel bad for not being interested( it's plain and simple, I'm going to #*%&!) Oh well. I'm going to go get some muffins and eggs. Later!

Guilt and Renewal; Saying Sorry.

My Dad has been reading my blog, and since I have been saying a lot about him, it's been hurting his feelings. Today, Daddy got mad at me because I had stopped eating. I got upset and deleted my blog. After talking to Mommy, I felt better (that and playing with my sister). I realized that all the yelling in Daddys' voice was worry. So I re-did my blog (it was pink, now it's blue). So Dad, I'm sorry for making you worry and getting you upset.

Love You,
K.Girl

Goodmorning heartache, what's new?

I feel like crap. My summer went bad. I am in, and for some reason have been stuck in, a stage of were I am wanting someone to have a crush on me. When it comes to emotions concerning crushes, I have been rejected all my life, because of my unique approach to everything. Lately, I just don't feel up to anything. I feel like getting up in the morning because I have nothing new to do. Once school starts, everyone will be writing how great their summer was when they went to Palm Beach or California. Me, I'll be writing about how much fun I had at East Cobb Park (it is a pretty cool place). I wanted to get out more, but after so much trouble going on, and like I have told my Mother, I have lost my motive. Now a days it's just waking up to watch my sister and keep my Dad company until his friend David comes and goes (then you've got to wait for about 2pm before Dad lays on the floor to pass out for a nap). I actually can't wait for high school to start, no matter how nervous I am. It seems interesting. I'm sleepy. I'm going to get something to drink and go pass out. Sayonara. :(

A Child's Place Sucks

Lately, I have been finding more and more things that I have a problem with. For example, my father has had an ongoing unemployment. I know that he is trying his hardest at it, but he just doesn't seem to be trying hard enough. We need any money that we can get. Right now my mother is working at a place she hates (unless her boss is away), but she is still job hunting for a new, better-paying one. My dad hasn't looked into anything else. He only looks for things in the animator field. What he needs to be doing is looking for jobs in any field (besides security and retail). He loves QT so much; he could work at a cash register part-time while still job hunting for a job in the animator field. I also have the problem of this. When ever I have a strong opinion on something concerning my parents’ ways, I can't talk to them because then I would be out of a child's place, right? There are just some things I don't want to talk about or feel like talking about. I don't want to get the reply "Get over it, we don't ask you to do that much around here," whenever I say that I'm tired of doing the dishes or I don't feel like watching my sister. I don't want a loud, hurtful, and depressing remark whenever I give my opinion about some of the things my parents are trying to accomplish. Well, readers, I got it out of me, so I feel better now. Bye.

When company leaves, MONSTERS COME OUT!

Last night, all #@^% broke loose after my big brother left. My dad is still depressed about his unemployment and a new problem has arisen. Whenever people come to see Mommy, Dad retreats to his bedroom, leaving Mommy to be official hostess. Mom and Dad were okay, until T.J. left. It only took a bit before Mom began to question Daddy's childish behavior. Soon they were yelling. Daddy continued his mean ways by wishing curses on Mommy, saying "I hate you," and "Ask me to leave, just say it to my face!" I wanted to go outside to get away from it completely. Mom stopped me and I retreated to my bedroom. In desperation and sadness, I began to pray to the lord for mercy, tranquility, and many things good on this struggling family. They argued and I cried my heart out. They had stopped and I had fallen asleep up front because fumigated my and my sister's bedroom for a bug(s) that had been biting everyone. My heart still hearts when I think about, and now I'm afraid that it might happen again, an ongoing cycle that might destroy there marriage. I prayed that they wouldn't want to throw away 16 yrs. of marriage and 13 yrs. of raising two kids together. Hopefully, the master plan that our dear lord has for us will come quickly, and not involve my parents breaking up, or hating each other while still staying together for the kids sake.

IRRITATED!

Okay, so yesterday we finally get our carpet cleaned and the furniture had to be put back down. I explain an idea to my parents that might look good in the living room. My Dad has a tantrum when our friends, Phyllis and T.J., agree with Mom and me. All of a sudden he says "I don't like it that way, but I don't care anymore,” We put the living room in my order and Dad started taking out his anger on me. He was being mean and hurtful, and after the third time I retreated to my room because my heart couldn't afford anymore damage. I talked to my Mom later about all the junk that has been happening and what Daddy did and said earlier that day. We were up until 2:00 in the morning talking, but it was worth it. After I wake up this morning, I look for one of the song I usually listen to everyday. Turns out, Dad had deleted it because he got TIRED of hearing me play it. HOW #&$%^@! HEARTLESS CAN YOU BE DUDE? I mean come on. You don't see Mom or me for that matter, going on your computer and deleting songs that you have played over and over again and saying "We'll put it back if you promise to stop playing it so much?"Anyway, I won over through ultimate force in body language, that's nifty. I feel better and I'm going to go relax now. I've got to make plans to hang out with some friends this weekend.

Misery

I'm miserable and no one understands, except my mother. My Dad is completely frustrated because of his unemployment status staying the same for the whole summer. It's like the Braves sent out letters all over Georgia saying "If this man asks for an interview, reject him!" like it's a joke just for the #@%$ of it. My little sister, bless her little heart and soul, is lucky because only time she has to cry is when she is hungry, sleepy, crabby, or hurt. I hate emotions. I wish I was born without them, or I could get rid of them when most conveint. My summer was $#@%. I didn't do anything because we have been living on the edge for the whole summer. So that means any money we get goes to important needs. I can't talk to anyone anymore because everyone will just yell at me about how everyone is trying their best. I feel like I'm going to turn into one of those teenagers who works on the weekends, does school on the weekdays, and has no fun at all( not to mention I wouldn't be able to vent). I wish that both my parents were working and were off on weekends and holidays. In fact, you know what, why wish for anything when you know it's not going to happen? When it's been happening too long for comfort and all hope has been erased. What's the point of wanting anything if you know you can't have it? If you know that you have reached your limit of simple luck in life, then why bother? I mean there are want things that I want, but I just can't get them.

Relief and More Suffering

Yah! No eviction for my family and me! I always had faith! Everything is turning up and where organized and back to normal. I now have one more problem, I want a boyfriend. My dream boy would be tall, Asian, intelligent, sweet, and he would be a hottie. I'm also nervous about high school. I've never been. Plus, all my teachers made high school seem out to be a living hell. It has scared me to death, and I still feel unprepared. Not to mention that I have been bored for the whole weekend, or should I say whole summer. No New York, Six Flags, Dave and Buster's, or any parks and malls like Centennial or Stone Crest Mall. Plus, I finally reach one of my friends and our plan to hang out goes wrong. When will this boredom subside? I have no idea what to do. A lot of times, I just end up sleeping my days away not caring, because I know nothing new will happen. It's always the same routine, and then it's always some food shopping or trips to a loud and annoying park with brats all over yelling at the top of their lungs and causing me to go deaf. Oh well, it will end once school begins. Or once school starts, all embarrassment, stress, and stupidity, shall reign and cause me to have a horrible experience at high school.

Worries

Ah, yes the survival of the daughter continues. I have now again begun to miss my little sister if she is gone for the whole day. The mother- daughter relationship is blooming again along with a sister and father-daughter relationships growing. The days seem long when you’re bored, but I manage to get through them. Many things have been bugging me a lot lately. My family is a little troubled financial, and we are on the verge of eviction. I am also worried because I will be going to high school soon. I have the feeling that we won't have enough money to get me what I need (clothes, supplies, etc...). Although they keep saying that they will handle it, I keep worrying. No matter, I shall live.

Mommy Trouble

My mom says that she raises me the same way her mother raised her. It seems like a bad idea, and our mother daughter relationship is going down the crapper. Especially with my little sister in the picture. I can understand she's two, but come on. Older siblings hear me out. I mean can you believe I am begging for school to begin. Most people hate school. I know I would. My summer along with my relationships and friendships with every one has gone to a plane a flown far away. In all that has gone wrong, I shall live. Right?